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August 21, 2019

Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
Er, little help?
It's a little hard to pin down the Pumpkins. Even the band members had this problem, as their sound would change with every album. What kind of music do they make? At the end of the day, what do you hear that makes you say, "That's the Pumpkins?" Even more difficult, what do you hear that makes you think, "That's the Pumpkins' kind of sound!" Well, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness gives it up like Davin's mom after too many Long Islands.

The Smashing Pumpkins are all about hair metal.

That's right, this man: I know what you're thinking.  Don't touch my head. creates hair metal.

Now, they were never the type to parade around in spandex and codpieces. They never participated in Satanic yet flamboyantly gay stage acts. When they shouted, "ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOOCCCCCK" they were answered with shrugs (hey man, should we, like, rock? I dunno, man). But if you look close enough, it was right there all along. You see, Billy and the gang WANTED to rock out, but the atmosphere back in the day wouldn't have it. Instead they had to turn to the bastard sibling of hard rock, alternative. When Billy shaved his head, he wasn't trying to achieve that perfect Nosferatu look, he was trying to hide the fact that he really wanted nice, long poofy hair. When he's up on stage, preaching to the disillusioned and very stupid youth of generation X, deep inside he hates each and every one of those coldnecks, and he'd love nothing more than to crack open an Old Milwakee, use some crank and just ROKK OUT! But cruel fate wouldn't let him.

The evidence is all over this album. There's two kinds of songs: balls out power anthems and sappy crooning concoctions that long to be the power ballads long forgotten. What am I supposed to think when Billy Corgan shouts, "Coil my tongue around a bumblebee mouth!"? Coil my tongue around a bumblebee mouth? There's two types of people who would say that: an etymologist who's having a nasty reaction to an exotic flea's bite, or somebody who is desperately trying to say something, anything, to not scream, "I WANNA ROCK ALL NIGHT!"

The Pumpkins broke up after branching out into their "weird" phase. During this time their music never really matched up to their earlier stuff. It's now clear why; the Pumpkins just wanted to ROCK, man, they just wanted to ROCK. Rock on, fair Pumpkins, rock on.

Davin says:
Dude, I was in Van Halen once
I'd like to rock all night long with Billy! I mean D'arcy! D'arcy!