| Deer LES, |
50m3t1m3s 1 ph34r 1 4m n0t 3l33t 3n0uff 4 h4X0ring w1m1n. g1rlz r n0t impre55ed by my 5k1llZ. c4n u h3lp? th4t VV00d b3 w00t!!!!
| Dear ???,|
What? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume you're a virgin. Here's what you need to do: stop talking like a dyslexic cat on PCP, turn off your computer and join the real world. Actually, screw it. Just come over to my place.
| Dear LES, |
Woo hoo! I won! I won! They didn't think I could do it, but I won! I'm the most powerful man on the planet! How does that feel, knowing that now I can have any woman I want, and I don't have to go to you for cheap one-nighters! I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone! I'm king of the world! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I CONTROL THE BOMB!!!!
King of Everything
| Dear George, |
Well well well, look at Mr. Power Trip. I'd be worryed about you having control over nukes, but I know from experience you have problems hitting a little red button, if you catch my drift.
| Dear LES, |
My mom is a kind of a bitch. She's totally overbearing and controls my life at every opprotunity. And I'm miles away from her! It's not like she can really do anything to me; she's a big ball of immobile pork. When I lived at home she'd win arguments by threatening to sit on me. Yet she still dominates my life. What can I do?
Oedipus Had it Easy
| Dear Davin, |
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM??? YOU GET SHELTER, MONEY, FOOD (LOT'S OF FOOD) AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME!!?!? I'm buying you a ticket home. BE ON IT! Ungrateful punk.
Sorry about that, folks. That's it. Remember, that email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Kisses!