War is hell
03.10.2002 5:30 PM
When I gave space for the creation of Davin's Hate Page I steeled myself mentally and bowelly for the doubtlessly vicious war to come. With the kind of no-holds barred setting we have my primary concern was that you, the fans would be crushed before it's unholy onslaught.
I never dreamed Davin's thirst for vengeance would drive him to shrink-wrap his own home town:
Suddenly it dawned on me that this lean mean drinkin' machine had an almost Biblical thirst for blood. If he could suffocate his friends, family and thousands and thousands of innocent people just to make a point, what did he have in store for me? Why, before I knew it I could wake up one day packed and sale at your local grocery store!
Oh no! I asked the War Gods for help and they just shit themselves and ran away.
I thought for a bit while cowering beneath my desk, and decided that the best way to appease this monster was to start printing the mass emails he sends out after a night of hard drinking. You see, though he might seem a little slow and of poor hygene, in reality Davin saves all his mental energy for writing about his zany adventures. Maybe if I can get him discovered by MTV or the producers of Wings: The New Flight I can avoid cellophane horror.
So read it and pray!!!