You are visitor 141843, a syphilis-carrying nude hacking undead hug
June 23, 2017

Very important info for future reference
12.05.2001 10:04 PM


While in the midst of a bunch of very entertaining but ultimately non-productive activities lately I've been slacking on bringing the update magic. I should get a webcam and turn into a camslut so that an update consists of flashing some cleavage (and don't say men can't flash cleavage; it's just a matter of pressing appropriately textured flesh together), and then all I have to do is sit back and let my visitors buy me stuff. But until then, you'll take what I got and you'll like it. At any rate, here's some plans for the future of elcybergoth.com:

Next Week: I'll get around to finishing some of the stuff I've been working on. Maybe I'll turn out a few CD reviews on the weekend.

The Holidays: While I'm back home in Winnipeg I'll be sure to turn the site to garish Christmas colours, so that ECG DOT COM can bring festive eye bleeding. Further, with two weeks and virtually no responsibility, perhaps I'll go on a content binge. Interviews with the eljeoparty guests, anyone?

Winter Term: With my return to class and the horrors of Graphics I'll be sure to document my increasingly deranged and bitter mental state as I spiral in the oblivion of fourth year CS.

The Rest of University: I might finish the rest of Slanty-Eyed Comix, bringing racial harmony through the universal language: esperanto.

Post-Graduation: I should be in prime form by then, as my entry into the high-tech workforce will establish new levels of sardonic wit and snappy patter previously unparalleled.

Five Years From Now: I'll reach the peak of my fame, as the Internet will no longer be the ground-breaking entertainment powerhouse of the new generation, and will instead be replaced by talking PEZ dispensers. The ECG DOT COM PEZ dispenser will do poorly, as I never learned how to program in sugar.

Seven Years From Now: As a burned-out washed up former mega star I'll post nothing but strange haiku about childhood and crackpot theories about Chevy trucks and how they control the CIA.

Fifteen Years From Now: I'll be brutally killed in the Riots. Crazy Al's Discount Electronics Shop will have a half-off day in my honour. Sales will be moderate.

Thirty Years From Now: A movie of my life, "elcyberGoth: Touched by Fashion" will be the hit of the summer, largely due to a convincing performance by Haley Joel Osmond playing me against type and revitalizing his career.