You are visitor 147732, a syphilis-carrying vactioning back flipping undead bear
June 16, 2019

The War Gods are angry
11.14.2001 11:02 PM

The Prologue

Earlier today for about an hour a certain individual whose mom happens to have a column here defaced the site. It's my own stupid fault, really; I left no password on my computer and made it really easy to do. At any rate, news was sent out shortly thereafter. If you came by here and saw that the site had been haX0red with nasty hardcore porno, I apologize. I don't mind the filth, (big sweaty cock licking bag of cumjam and bungspice) but I do mind the fact that THERE WAS JAVASCRIPT ON THIS SITE. I've worked long and hard to avoid JavaScript on the site; it's the territory of the mildly insane and/or N'Sync fans. Thus it upsets me that the Scripting Language Which Shall Not Be Named (I'll call it "Flex") spent time on my hard drive. Now, I don't get very mad anymore; I worked that out a long time ago when I attacked someone with a baseball bat. I don't have the stomach for it anymore. Unfortunately for Davin Luke (, the War Gods are angry.

A War God
The Exposition

The War Gods want you to know a little more about Davin. Davin is the frattiest frat boy ever, in that he drinks a lot of beer and is almost totaly retarded. However he differs from the standard frat boy in a few key areas:

  • He may or may not enjoy the company of men. Depends on what you consider "a man"
  • He's a huge sissy. He once almost shit himself when we waved a dead mouse at him.
  • He's not in a fraterity. See previous two points.
  • He's lazy. He once wouldn't throw out the trash, despite it being in front of my room door, so I put it on his bed. Three times.
  • He's the hugest momma's boy ever. His scream fests with the LES are the stuff of legend. They are only rivaled by his bouts of begging the LES for money. Usually his Mom TAKES money from men, you see.

Allegedly, he's a web developer, however Davin is the operator of the Geoshittiest web-site ever. Experience the pain. I'm not sure what is worse: the insane frame layout or the very painful multitude of animated gifs. Further, note the almost exclusive use of the dreaded center tag. I'm not sure, but there might be a marquee tag in there somewhere too. Would YOU want this guy developing web pages for you? Let him know!

The Revelation

War Gods dislike being upset. This is a banner year for them and somebody comes along and pisses in their Cornflakes of Strife. Thus, the War Gods have decided to retaliate. You see, Davin, I really don't mind the smut. I don't mind that you like to post granny/gay porn; everybody uses the Internet to express their inner selves. They do take exception to you doing it on my page. If you're gonna post porno on my site, at least post some GOOD PORNO (Warning: real porno).

It turns out that these are the tamest pictures I have of you:

I'm your red hot slut, baby!

Give it to me big boy!

The War Gods, however, are not so kind. I bet you forgot about this:
So true.

The War Gods didn't.

Interestingly, the War Gods spend a lot of time spying on seedy motels. I was shocked at what they found:
You loooooooove it!

YOU SICK FUCK! I should have known something was up the second you tore all the nudies out of National Geographic and threw them out, but I never expected this! My God.

The War Gods say there are more pictures. It will never end. Not even in Death, when the War Gods will have a new axle for their poo-traversing chairiots.

The Denouement

The War Gods aren't done with your sorry ass. They'd like to ask a favour of my readers: send off emails to Davin at and tell him how much balls he sucks. Better yet, mail him at work and send some some of these pictures, ANY of these pictures, at I'm sure his boss would love to find out how he spends his weekend.

In closing, the War Gods and I have two things to say:
1. I'm calling your Mom. You don't know when, you don't know how. It'll happen.
Do NOT fuck with us.