You are visitor 142893, a syphilis-carrying nude uneven cavorting trailer park
December 15, 2017

Oh my God! I'm a dork!
10.15.2001 10:06 PM


Shite! Shite and bloody arsebiscuits! Sorry to get all British on y'all, but I'm somewhat upset at a recent discovery; I am, in fact, a dork. There I was, strolling about, believing myself to the pinnacle of cool, when I happened upon this. For those of you unwilling to click, it leads to a list describing what makes up an E/N site. An E/N site contains "Everything and Nothing". That right there was a tipoff. But going down the list I felt eerie truth. Now, fitting the description for a certain type of site isn't bad in itself, however the impression I got of E/N sites from NON-E/N sites was that they have a reputation for, shall we say, undersexual content. The horror! Let's break down the list and see what we can find:

1). you must have a poster named brian.
Okay, I dodged the first bullet. Sweet deal.

2). you must insist that you are not an e/n site.
I like to think of the site as more a general humour thing with sporadic personal content... OH SHIT!!!!

3). when you finally accept that you are an e/n site, insist that you had never heard of the term when you started your site.
IT'S TRUE!!! IT'S SO TRUE!!!!!

4). you must claim you dont like badassmofo, and that you dont like stileproject, even though this is probably not true.
I've never heard of these sites... SO I MUST NOT LIKE THEM!!!!

5). link the word 'this' to something as much as possible
... SEE ABOVE!!!!!!!

6). start your posts with "you know what i hate" or "id just like to say"
Kevin Nash is an e/n site?

7). at least 15 percent of the phrases must be "errr" or "uhhh" or "yeah, okay"
Errrrr... WHATEVER!

8). you have to accuse at least one site every two weeks or stealing your layout, content, idea, or style. maybe even soul.
microsoft.com ripped me off!

9). refer to personal friends no one knows, introduced by "this guy/girl i know"
Ask King Bai and Waxy: I NEVER do this.

10). talk about the 'community' and how great it is.
You mean like the SWF?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!!???

11). threaten to or do shut down after every 3 months. say its not what it used to be.
That's it! I'm shutting down!

12). complain about every email you get.
THAT'S not a problem. *sniff*

13). explain your handle (if you have one) painfully often. if you dont have one, tell why you do.
this

14). tell a surprising number of aol/uo stories, then claim to hate both services.
Errrrr... uhhhhhh.... yeah, okay, I don't know NUTHIN' about this....

15). launch or talk about launching a band/dj career.
This one reminds me of something: I play tambourine for Discoloured Swine, and we'll be at the Roxy next Friday. Check it out!.... FUCK!

16). try and makes us all believe girls like you. thats why your on the computer.
Yo, I was gonna make a page about my cock but it wouldn't fit on the hard drive. Hellllloooo ladies!

17). apologize for ranting. to whom exacly?
APOLOGIZE? HA!

18). talk about how crazy and great 'things used to be', as if you were at least 60.
Used to be I didn't have to worry about some goddamn list...

19). complain, on your e/n site, about e/n sites and how many there are and how they are all the same. then realize everyone else has done this.
Hey, nobody's ever goofed on a list like this before, right? RIGHT????

20). start too many posts with a salutation. give it a conversation feel. now again: to whom are you speaking?
Hello! Welcome to my very gay site! Have a seat in my homo chair!

21). write often that you have nothing to say.
...